An unexpected release...

Susie still can rem the time he spent a week in the Orient. When he finally returned, the daddy and daughter played all afternoon.As he put her to sleep, he asked this question, "Do u love me? "yes daddy. I love u more den anything." "More den anything?" "more den anything" "more den yr fav pearls? Would you give them to me ?" "Oh daddy, i couldn't do that. I love them very much. " "i understand" And Daddy gave her a gd nite kiss. That nite, susie tossed in bed, kept thinking abt the request of her daddy. Finally, next morning. " daddy, i love you more den these, here, take them" "I'm so glad to hear that, i bought yopu a gift. " She open the box and gasped. Pearls. Genuine pearls. You suppose yr Father wants to give you some too? He offers authentic love. His devotion is the real deal. But He won't give you the genuine until you surrender the imitations. ( the pearls that susie had, wasn't real pearls. ) this is a short extract of the book i've been reading. A love worth giving-Max lucado When i read until the pt that the father giving the daughter real pearls, i wept. Couldn't stop. Cos i knew He wants me to give up something. Year ago, i met a friend in church. His name is J. ( for those who can guess him out, pls dun disturb him regarding this. I dun wana disturb his personal life ) We were very close friends. His sensitivity plus his strong understanding of my character, makes me always wants to draw very close to him. I fell in love with him. But the feeling were not muture. After a big cry and console from friends n all, i thou it all ended there. Today, J is no longer in my life, we lost contact not too long after that incident. But i find myself still thinking of him, not very often. But still thinking of him at a small corner of my heart. I still find him important in my life, though without contact at all, i still fear of losing him. During the years, i had quite some options of guys who woo me. But i just dun find them of any interest. i thou it was just merely a case of, no chemistry, no sparks, not suitable was my fav excuse to get away with. Until the pt, ppl who wanted to match make me, cannot tahan even. N they are not normal members. I think during this period of time, i broke many hearts. Sorry. Yest svc was abt relationships. though it was mainly targeting at marriages, but i felt the little tinge in my heart. And when i wept reading this part of the book, i knew J has to go. I have to admit the fact that he's not going to come back to me and he's totally out of my life now. I need to face the hurt again. But this time, to get it healed. I must not stay in the realm of imagination. J is out of my life. I need to really face my feelings n to empty that portion of my heart so that someone new can come in. Now, that person holding the empty space would of cos be God. N i trust in due time, it will be filled by the right candidate. :> Didn't know that giving out love can be such a painful thing but healing is a process and i'm determind to get over it. Jia you!