Welcome to the World of crystaline..

A great me day enjoyed... :)

2010-12-13T08:22:00.000-08:00

Today is a very blur day.. I went to office only to find out that today is actually my off day! lol Then i went to kfc to eat my usual fav porridge breakfast set. hee.. i sat there, enjoyed the food and began to plan for the remaining days of 2010. :) This time, i took the schedule wif me. haha! Had a gd conversation on the hp wif jasmine as well. It's been so long we can talk so freely. I mean, besides cg stuff n more connect grp stuff. hee. We chat abt movie, chat abt how i feel abt the movie, wat she gona do for e day etc. Finally, no pressure talk. hee.
I prefer to do things w/o pressure. I perform e best at this kinda time. hee. Btw, went to sentosa on sunday wif weili, wenfu, zx, jackson n justin! we played frisbee! great fun! :) The sea at sentosa is MUCH... more cleaner den east coast! hee..

2010-11-02T05:09:00.001-07:00

Just changed my blog.. man, this is gona be a great effort of work! hee...

2010-08-10T06:52:00.000-07:00

I cannot understand the way my superior work. Why must she ask so many irrelevant questions whenever i ask her something. Can't she just ans me a simple qn? I know where to find the info, just wana tell her to look at that info only, must she say until like that? "i feel that u're more like the superior then me". Wa cow!! I just wana work faster only ma! She ask so many irrelevant qns, waste so much time, sianx lor! For what?? Just see what i need to ask, tell me what's wrong la! haix... WORK faster aso get scolded! :(

2010-08-09T08:47:00.001-07:00

No time for self-pity and not going to either. Gona take charge of life. Spend time emo-ing might as well spent the time and effort to make myself better. Groom myself. :) Discipline. GO!! Chiong ar!

Avril Lavigne's 'Alice In Wonderland' Video Is 'Haunting,'

2010-08-09T08:35:00.000-07:00

Avril Lavigne - Innocence Music Video

2010-08-09T08:08:00.000-07:00

2010-08-09T08:04:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDRT-bYRvMI

2010-08-08T08:57:00.000-07:00

Random pic.. hee This few weeks are really a very tough period. Emotionally especially. Work politics, trust in ppl. Fear of opinions. They are all my troubles and burden all the time. But one conversation i had wif my cgl changes and enlightens my thinking alot. No wonder church always teaches us that we need to stand in light, must share and share wif someone who's more mature in Christ. T is right. I really am doubting myself again. In terms of making decisions. I am constantly afraid that someone might be unhappy that i wana do things in a diff way. This lies in the problem of my self-esteem. I must GET over this. yes! jia you jia you!

2010-08-01T06:36:00.000-07:00

Today's anni svc is great! :) just wana upload some pics.. hee certain pic i scare not so pretty, so dun put on fb.. but this is my blog! i can put whatever i like! hahah!.. lol

2010-07-18T03:50:00.000-07:00

Just saw jennette ow on Entertainment on 5's Eng interview. I like the way she speaks. It's perfect or at least high standard of eng. It's funny wen she mention that there are ppl who thinks she's from china and she doesn't speaks eng. I mean, yes, actually she does look like from china but obviously she's from NUS, she confirm speaks eng rite?? haix.. typical ppl. Just like ppl says i can't speak dialect. Hello, i speak dialect since the day i ever rem and i still speak dialect to my everyday now u rem?? hhaha.. This weekend has been gd so far, svc was abt God's love and i have to say, this is really in time for me to release my stress. Work and ppl's judgemental opinions etc. Had a talk with cgl last nite. I really need to overcome and or rather, put in a more pricise way, change my thinking. Totally. Abt myself and ppl's love for me. :) Now, i shall go and get ready for my personal fellowship with jojo. cheers. :)))

2010-04-21T06:03:00.000-07:00

Toda e was a 'siong' day. Woke up early for morning pm. Left at 8am to take NEL train. But the train broke down wen it reached potong pasir. And aso the other side of the train as well. Thus the only option left is to take the bus. N the only pethetic bus is 133 which take donkey years to reach. Even by the time it reaches bugis, it's alrd 9.30am! I was alrd one hr late! thus ended up din go office for work

2010-04-15T10:18:00.000-07:00

Nowadays there're many kinds of mindsets for ppl. Guys care abt pretty face. To be trendy and hip and to be relevant is to be pretty and nicely dressed.I can agree. But self-worth and self confidence, is it alright to be judged that way? No, certainly not! haha.. I feel that self-worth and self confidences must be dependent on God's love for me. Not even my love for Him, cos it won't be enough to justify His sacrifice for me. Thus, no matter come what may, i can still be happily who i am. Thank you Jesus!

2010-04-13T10:29:00.000-07:00

Had a great time of fellowship today. :) It's so nice to see everything well again. :) Been doing some reflections on myself and spending time and effort in building friendships and bonds. To learn to be a real friend and be there for one when needed. Tired but happy. Wana change to be better. Not to be bitter. Thank God for honest and straight forward friends. More will come! Whoever God loves, He chastens. Love u lots Jesus! Tks for everything!

2010-04-08T10:31:00.000-07:00

Today i woke up too late so nev go work. Felt a bit guilty actually. hee. I started my search for the sch and course at ard 10plus in the morning. Sat at the front of the computer and kept looking thru all the websites and calling the organisations to see what's the subsidy and calling the sch to check the modules and fees and everything. Finally decided to go MDIS. hee I did try to look for other courses but not very willing to take something that's not very interesting to me. So ended up still choose the same course. lol This is human nature or shall i say, this is me. Not willing to live a life that's not reflecting me. Course shld be starting in Aug! yea.. :)

2010-04-06T07:50:00.000-07:00

Yeepie! I feel that my plan or shall i say, my hard work is paying off! My trainer at work two days ago, said that i am actually gd at my work and today my Tl asked me whether i will be furthering my studies or not after my contract end. I think they have intention to convert me to perm. Ha ha.. So now, i am on the upper hand le. Hee.. But i am thinking shall i continue to study or shall i continue to work or shall i work and study sametime? hmm.. Hard to decide but must really pray and seek God's face and really get an ans. yea..

weird dream...

2010-04-04T13:30:00.000-07:00

"Still not waking up? It's almost 1pm" My mum said to me. I opened my eyes and thinking to myself that it can't be so late alrd, i reached out for my hp. I was surprised. It really was 12.40pm! I never sleep till this late in the afternoon for a long...... time. As i was still lying on my bed, i recalled what i dreamt abt last nite. It was quite weird. In the dream i was sick with disease and very weak. And whatever i want to do, i have alot of struggles. In fact, the whole dream , i was struggling actually. I was struggling with myself and the circumstances and family and friends. It was a long dream of difficulties and suffering, When i woke up, i realised that it was all just a dream and that i'm healty and strong. It feels gd! It feels gd to know that i am diff in my condition in my dream. It feels gd to be alive! I'm really grateful for all that Jesus had done for me. Without Him, i won't be so free! It's great to know that i've been given a second chance to live! Thank God! Praise Jesus!! :)

thinking...

2010-04-02T09:01:00.000-07:00

Recently i've been doing alot of thinking.. I mean, since the start of this job, i've been so preoccupied with lots of things that i hardly even sit down and do much thinking. I've been of my future, my life, my love and my character. But the main pt of this is my relationship with my beloved, God. Ever since i started working at this cust svc job, i've been striked by lots of challenges and disappointments, anger and unhappiness came to be over-whelming. I think i lost it too many a times. Losing the guy i love, losing the peace of God in my heart, all these began to re shaped my life's perpective. I think, i've never really been happy with my life. I complain abt everything. My job, for being difficult, my pay too low, superior was bad etc. My family for not being able to provide me with what i wan in life, my body for being too fat, my clothes not gd enough, not being loved , not being cared by ppl ard me. Honestly speaking, i've never been happy with my life and myself. That' s the main issue. And i feel that it's because of all these things that goes on in my mind, that make all other things in my life that's important to be blind spot. And that, is nt gd. No wonder Joyce Meyer can come up with a whole book on Battlefield of the Mind. I think i must go and read that book again. To be catious abt what i think. Well, the best way to consider things is to do it in the presence of God. Time to sleep! Nite! :)

ALL THE THINGS I WANT!!!!

2010-03-31T07:47:00.000-07:00

I went shopping for my choir audition two weeks ago and man, i tell u, when a lady starts shopping, there's no stopping her!! Everywhere i go, suddenly i feel that all the dresses are so nice! haha! And when a lady is happy, her fashion sense will suddenly be very gd! haha! I wan alot of things this yr. I wan: 1) iphone 16Gb 2) guitar 3) Mac notebook 4) lots of money! But most impt, i must build on myself. Character. Personalty. Style Rome wasn't built in one day. :)

2010-03-31T07:11:00.000-07:00

Everyone's going to universal studio recently. Even the company has tickets at low prices for perm staff but i cannot go. :( Well, my colleague told me that not everything opened for operations yet. Only in dec den fully open. Hmm.. den what shall i do during my bday leh? Every year's bday is unprepared. wana be more planned this year. haha..

dreams are my reality..

2010-03-22T22:33:00.000-07:00

I never knew my dreams are so unacceptable. I never knew my dreams wil cost my everything and so much pain. Now i know why dreams will take all of me. Yes, given the way things are now, it's really taking all of me. I thou that it was a perfect match, i thou that it was well planned. I thou that this is destiny and God's will. But today, only today, then i realised that it was just my wishful thinking. All along, you've never see it that way. All along, u feel that this is not a gd plan, all along, you just wanted things to be the other way. All along, my perfect plan was yr obstacle. All along u have no wish to be my warrior. Now den i know, but as i type with tears rolling down my cheeks now at this instance. I'm sorry, as much as the depth of my love goes deep for u. I will not give up my dreams for you. Instead, i will tell myself, because of all the sacrfices that i go through, my dreams deserved even more of me now. I'm sorry that my love for you has caused u much destress. I though u were the one. I really though u were.

daily work..

2010-03-21T06:48:00.000-07:00

I tell myself must update my blog more often, so here i am! hee Last nite went for the famous (as what was said ny my cg) teochew porridge shop to eat. Didn't went svc as i had to work yest. Haix.. working on sat is still a very sianx thing. Although i'm kinda used to the work now le. haha After that, went n watch movie. We watched 'The Lovely bone'. It was well, considered nice. Just that i couldn't really take it wen the pervert was satisfying his 'craving'. The novie was ard two hrs long. Worth it. Just that it seems longer, maybe because the pace of the movie was slow? :) Thru out the movie, i had a tingy irritating feeling inside of me. Because of what happened just before the movie. I feel that because of this, i kinda let a frien down. After all, they wanted to go home after the movie de lor. But because i came, they went out. All looking so tired. But i didn't wan things to be that way too. But it just came out that way. Since we're at this, i might as well say aso. I keep on wondering what is God teaching me at this season now. Maybe i'm getting it.

2010-03-18T05:48:00.000-07:00

This is one of the pic that i took yest at the music festival! i like it!

Today work was quite relaxed. Think i've overcome the 'nervousness' of this job le. WELL, abt time anw. It's been 4 months into this job le! Time flies!

Last evening after dinner, i went to esplanade with jackson and ginna. It was a gd decision! As we saw the Mosaic music festival performance! I was thrilled! I love watching live band! It's cool and fun! The stage was spacious! They're so blessed! I would love to be standing in on a big stage like that to perform one day as well! hee..

I wish i can upload one of the performance here in this blog. :) I want to pick up my instrument again! I wana be able to able to fulfill my dream! Music is my greatest passion! :)

LOVE

2010-03-14T22:07:00.000-07:00

Time is in Your hands. I will learn to trust and believe in You. That the perfect love You have for me, keeps me safe under You mighty wings. Your heart is where i can find refuge and sheltar from all harm in my life. I once lost my life for You. And i've regained it back. What is it that i cannot do for you? Why should i be afraid of man who can destroy my body but not my soul? This is not the kinda life i wana live. I want to live a pasionate life for the One who had love me while i'm unworthy, yet u make me precious.

lazy afternoon..

2010-03-14T21:45:00.000-07:00

haha.. think i'm feeling lazy today.. yest spent the whole day at my netbook. It's my new toy now. but it saves me lots of $ actually. Cos going to internet cafe is really expensive! an hr $2. once i'm online, it'll be many hrs! hee.., i was chasing after the taiwan drama 'Jiu xiang lai zhe ni'. and i finished the whole drama yest! hee.. But okie la.. only 14 episodes. :) Oh ya, i went to colour my hair. Not really what i expected and some says it really nice. Some say well,... no comments. Hmm.. shld post some pic hor? hee.. okie. will do that! Think today will be a lazy afternoon aso. loL But i'm thinking of getting 2nd job on top of this main job. Cos this current job's pay is too low! I'm still thinking shld i go over to another company but stay in this industry. hmm

new vision!

2010-03-13T18:50:00.000-08:00

Watching the svc online now. Saw the ARISE and BUILD video. Once again, feel so inspired that i wana get back to the right track again. Was swayed by certain things this few weeks but now i wana focus on the vision again. :)

it's gona be a exciting day! :)

2010-03-08T13:36:00.000-08:00

woke up at 3am in the morning. decided to pray since can't gt back to slp. feel the presence and love of God very strongly. actually since last sat, i alrd knew that today's audition will be a success. it's that faith guts sense i have. wen u decide to build God a great hse, God will build nt just yr hse, but yr whole life! Till the audition time still got many hrs. but preparation work alot too! hee.. This is just the first of the many more auditions i will be going for this yr! :)

tiring week..

2010-02-20T19:52:00.000-08:00

This week has been a tirirng week for me. Things are demanding on me wherever i go. The pressure of fulfilling expectations. the stress etc. Honestly, i duuno where is God bringing me to in these circumstances and that pt, is really testing my faith. But pressure this kinda thing rite, is strange, as in, wen it's consistently ard you, after sometime, it's just like like that de lor. U will kind of get used ot it. And wen u get used to it liao, it's norm to you, it'll be easy to conquer. Maybe that's how we overcome situations. Of cos strength part is by drawing to God. Prayer and fasting.

trials are gd!

2010-02-19T19:29:00.000-08:00

Had a talk with a ginna last nite on the way home. Fianlly i get to talk to someone who can understand my situation. Maybe wen going thru things, not everyone u can expect to understand and to talk to. But God will provide and God will provide one. After the talk and knowing the experiences she wen thru as well, makes me understand the situations in life. I've been so overwhelmed by the physical situations that that i failed to see things in the spiritual. God chastens those He loves. He cares abt my character than my comfort. Pst bobby said before in Sot that a christian gotta constantly be in a faith stretching situation so that faith, like a muscle, strengthens everytime it gets stretched. I agree. The past 3mths at work is very trying, tiring and emotionally draining, i would say. I was hit by all areas, really much like a battle field rather than a job itself. But i realised that it's begining to cause so change in me. In my temper, ability to perform under pressure, in staying focus and definitely in endurance. Trials and testing are part and parcel of a christian life.

2010!..

2010-01-25T21:00:00.000-08:00

This is the first entry for my blog in 2010! haha.. Although it's like super late but... i'm gona blog anyway!. Lost my voice totally since sat after opm on fri nite. It's an agony not being able to talk! Plus, i'm not very int in singing ah du's song. hee.. Stayed at home for 48 hrs just totrest, decided that it's ok for me to sneak out and have some fun today! hahaha... This yr began with lots of things happening. My eldest bro was hospitalised for 6days due to lungs infection. Prevailing fever was the main concern. Praise God, his fever has subsided and was discharged since yest. The truama is not that alone. It's abt my family's bond. Bcos of his hospitalisation, my parents have been very tired and arguing pretty alot. There wasn't much peace at home. But i'm glad that it's all over now. :) I rem one thing suddenly, that God did not promise a life that's smooth sailing but He did promise that He'll walk thru with us. N there's nothing He cannot do and there's nothing He will not do for us! Amen! To me, jan is always a month of trials and testing. Bcos this is the month to set the foundation for this yr! I believe this yr, i will grow stronger in my faith in You.

2009-11-29T05:13:00.000-08:00

Today is an emotional day for me. Cried my heart out at everything that's been happening to me. The heartache of haveing to break away from love one. The bad news of friends ard me. The money issues. It all made me so numb to everything that's happening to me. Now, i'm not very concern abt who's in or out of my life, wat's needed wat's impt. I feel that i am barely hanging on. Doing just whatever i can, i shld. I hope to get out of this phrase soon.

happy day is finally here! hee..

2009-11-11T01:15:00.000-08:00

Today is a great day! Finally endured the boring work and now is enjoying each passing moment to dance sch! :) Although today is only registering, but u can't deny the fact that if u've been hoping for something to happen for long time and wen it finally came, somemore it's being given free to u, man! It's awsome and awsome! Woo hoo! haha!. I'm going to O sch with four other friends! It's going to be a rolling gd time! :)

2009-03-15T04:26:00.000-07:00

I think the happiest thing that happens to me is my relationship with Him has improved n that bcos of that, my relationship with others are too. :> Hoping that in future thru the midst of trials n testing, i will emerge victorious! :>

yea..

2009-03-15T03:36:00.000-07:00

Just received my Sot confirmation email! Yeepi! I'm finally going in! Although more challenges will come, but i'm ready for them man! Just very glad that things are coming out well. Lol Enjoyed myself with cg gals last nite at Tcc. Hee.. Long time nev so enjoy le. Although after that got a weird uncle taxi driver. But okie la.. Still reach home well, in one piece. My gal friends are all encouraging me to lose weight n have been offering alot of ideas to me, so i'm happy for thier effort. :> Last sunday my ex-colleagues n i went to 9 pub. It's a ktv pub. Bcos it was sun nite, there were only 3 tables ( including us ). We had fun. I had too much beer. Actually it was not too much but we gulped down one go twice. I nev tried it before. First gulp, i was seeing stars lor. I ended up becoming a 'heong' drinker among my friends, funny. :> Haix.. Another wrong reputation. haha..

boredon

2009-03-03T23:12:00.000-08:00

everyday i work alone at my two tele jobs. with nobody to work with, totally alone. wa.. veri diff from my job at pru. so bored tat i've to come n complain here. cannot tahan. how to endure till 6 months lik tis? Stupid economy crisis. only can provide lousy jobs now. admin is terrible in pay. tele has gone down too. haix.. bored ar..

......

2009-02-27T20:12:00.000-08:00

Yest throw up food after cgm.. But i did it quietly. It was disgusting man.. Eek. But i felt slightly better after that. Den after went home, throw up some more. Wa, shiok. Felt gd man. Den i wen to sleep. Today is sat but gotta work. Haix. told the gal le, next time dun plan dun working schedule on sat afternoon. I wana go svc with cg. Hee. Finally submitted my sch application tks to the help of sam. :) It's a relief. The rest is up to God le. Hmm.. We got a movie voucher last nite. As in, cheaper price. So maybe wil be watching one soon? :) Recently like quite a lot of movies. I was playing with Pet society last few days n i was thinking to myself, if can earn money in real life so easily, good wor. But haha, think too much le. Yea, now it's the time to really think abt finances for sch fees. Anybody got any ideas? Lobangs? Do tell me yea? Tag me.. hee It's gona be a lazy afternoon. Going off to work!

yea..

2009-02-25T20:25:00.000-08:00

this week gona get the govt's money. Hee. Finally can get extra help for my b.f. :> Yest i saw an ad on tv abt a beauty salon. They use the story of a women who was very plump after giving birth n was very ashamed to even change or took out her clothes in font of her husband. I think that means they dun have sex. Hmm.. then i thought abt what pastor said abt man wants to have sex as first priority n a man must have beautiful wife. I believe that women must have very extreme inferior complex. In the past, i would simply regard this kinda story as a kinda advertising or marketing idea for the business. Which on the part of the business owner, may be true la. But now, what i see is on the part is the women's feelings. i even saw her wipes tears on tv. Now that she's so pretty with super gd figure, she looks so happy. Although i still wonder, so will this save her marriage? as in, they nev mention abt her marriage being broken la. But, does solving this image n looks problem totally give them real happiness now? I dunno. Cos they nev show on tv. Cos not concern to the business ma. But i believe that she's surely more happy now. I nev knew business aso can change ppl's lives. But now i know. :>

2009-02-22T19:26:00.000-08:00

Yest i accompanied two of my youths to service at expo. Was very sleepy. Took every opportunity to shut my eyes for rest. Things were just blabbering on n on.. Until Pastor talked abt Sot. I was listening attentively, ( although i looked like i was not ) den suddenly, i felt a release in my heart. Yes! Finally, cos actually, i keep having this heavy heart whenever i talked abt Sot. I knew, i was supposed to go. I knew things were laid out that way alrd. But i just do not have this peace in my heart to go. N i dun like it. I kept praying, kept waiting. I know He will give me His peace, i know He wanted me to wait. I know it will come. BUT.. like every waiting period, it is terrible to keep waiting. Agony. I dun like to wait. Patience. Is a very hard virtue. Very not easy. But i told myself to trust in Him. I force myself to. N it came! I knew that release is from Him. Only He can touch my heart like that. :> N yes! Finally, my engine starts, i am on my way! Yipee! Thanks God! Hurray! N i am very sure, i am moving along with Him by my side! Jia you! Jia you! N to all out there, rem, P-A-T-I-E-N-C-E

hmm..

2009-02-17T23:39:00.000-08:00

Yest i ask my cgl whether i should go sot first or take my diploma first n she says that i shld take sot first to mould n train be more discipline den go take dip. I looked at the word discipline n thought to myself, am i not discipline? Just a thought only. This morning, i forgot to set alarm clock n overslept! Bcos the workplace of the morning job is veri far, i think it's pointless to go n will affect the analysis of the probation effects. If ur understand wat is that la. So, i call n told them not goin. Was given a small reminder that it shall be the 1st n last time. Wat a morning. Then, i thou that i had plenty of time to prepare my second job at 2pm. so i dilly dally, dragged my feet n wash up bla bla.. By 11 plus, i thou of taking a small short nap. N i did. N it was terrible! i set the alarm, it went off for few times le n i kept putting it to snooze. Den, i was late for my 2nd job too. Haix.. Then, to make up for it, i have to end work at later timing. skin itchy lor. But who to blame? Wake up late lor. hmm.. maybe i really need to be more disciplined wor. Lol Sam has registered for O sch le wor. W/o us! Humph! But never mind la, she anxious, let her go first lor. hee. I still need to settle my sch stuff 1st. Cos that's most important. Yup. Another boring working day.. :0

very funny ar?

2009-02-17T03:00:00.000-08:00

I find that my friends sometimes will make comments that i look funny, comical. I nev quite understood y. Until one day, i decided to record a video of myself. It's just talking abt the goals i set this yr. N i find myself really funny!:> I think it's the expression part ba. Actually, i dun mind my friends laughing at me bcos they find me funny. Note: FRIENDS But i know some ppl who are mean, will laugh at me in a mean way , a mockery i guess. That, is an attitude prob. Sometimes, i let it affect me, but i guess this yr's breakthrough will be in the area of confidence ba. I will learn not to let these mean, rude, ill-mannered ppl affect me with their words. Ppl who loves me, finds me cute. Ppl who dun, well, who cares? They dun love me anyway. Humph! I went to tampines with samantha yest or the day before? Forgotten. N we saw this veri small size laptop. The type that's very popular rite now. N i really like it. I think i really will get it. Or, if it comes as a bday present in 19 May, hee.. i wouldn't mind actually. Hee.. hee.. I've been really working hard for the money for Sot man. N together with b.f, it's no joke. Actually, i'm quite frustrated that i cannot get things to work out well even though i made the decision to go sot since last dec. As in, i did tried to make things rite, arrange schedule n all, but it just messed up. Well, i've finally settled things down le. but it means, i've to work hard all over again. haix.. aiyayaya.. But never mind, i'll continue to press in! I've so many ppl supporting me, i won't let them down without a gd fight of faith! :> Yea man!

An unexpected release...

2009-02-08T00:45:00.000-08:00

Susie still can rem the time he spent a week in the Orient. When he finally returned, the daddy and daughter played all afternoon.As he put her to sleep, he asked this question, "Do u love me? "yes daddy. I love u more den anything." "More den anything?" "more den anything" "more den yr fav pearls? Would you give them to me ?" "Oh daddy, i couldn't do that. I love them very much. " "i understand" And Daddy gave her a gd nite kiss. That nite, susie tossed in bed, kept thinking abt the request of her daddy. Finally, next morning. " daddy, i love you more den these, here, take them" "I'm so glad to hear that, i bought yopu a gift. " She open the box and gasped. Pearls. Genuine pearls. You suppose yr Father wants to give you some too? He offers authentic love. His devotion is the real deal. But He won't give you the genuine until you surrender the imitations. ( the pearls that susie had, wasn't real pearls. ) this is a short extract of the book i've been reading. A love worth giving-Max lucado When i read until the pt that the father giving the daughter real pearls, i wept. Couldn't stop. Cos i knew He wants me to give up something. Year ago, i met a friend in church. His name is J. ( for those who can guess him out, pls dun disturb him regarding this. I dun wana disturb his personal life ) We were very close friends. His sensitivity plus his strong understanding of my character, makes me always wants to draw very close to him. I fell in love with him. But the feeling were not muture. After a big cry and console from friends n all, i thou it all ended there. Today, J is no longer in my life, we lost contact not too long after that incident. But i find myself still thinking of him, not very often. But still thinking of him at a small corner of my heart. I still find him important in my life, though without contact at all, i still fear of losing him. During the years, i had quite some options of guys who woo me. But i just dun find them of any interest. i thou it was just merely a case of, no chemistry, no sparks, not suitable was my fav excuse to get away with. Until the pt, ppl who wanted to match make me, cannot tahan even. N they are not normal members. I think during this period of time, i broke many hearts. Sorry. Yest svc was abt relationships. though it was mainly targeting at marriages, but i felt the little tinge in my heart. And when i wept reading this part of the book, i knew J has to go. I have to admit the fact that he's not going to come back to me and he's totally out of my life now. I need to face the hurt again. But this time, to get it healed. I must not stay in the realm of imagination. J is out of my life. I need to really face my feelings n to empty that portion of my heart so that someone new can come in. Now, that person holding the empty space would of cos be God. N i trust in due time, it will be filled by the right candidate. :> Didn't know that giving out love can be such a painful thing but healing is a process and i'm determind to get over it. Jia you!

2009-02-03T21:31:00.000-08:00

I dunno y must i go thru all this and i dun really know what are You teaching me but i'm not going to give up easily, i must fight till i get my fairness. N i believe above n beyond all, Jesus You are my best advocate.

2009-02-03T04:56:00.000-08:00

2nd month of 2009. Time passes very fast. My rebond hair has alrd gone back to the original state again! Haix.. Knew it de lar. My hair. I think if i still dun blog, many ppl will think i'm no longer ard le. LOL I signed up for o sch last week with friends. Hip-hop 1 intro. It will start in mar. Was supposed to go for the feb de lor. But it was fulled wen we went to register. I know in the midst of Sot, it will be very trying.. but i've thou abt it, if it's really what i wan in my life, den i must pay the price for it. yup. No pain, no funky dance moves. haha! :> I saw the lesson videos on youtube n realised most hip-hop-bies like to wear funky caps. I also wan! But i always look weird in one. -_-'' I think with this new trend in my life, i shld be one step more closer to losing weight goal. Yes! I see myself dancing. Yea man. N i see myself dating this year. Hee. Although not the priority, but i believe it's good season now. Lol I used to think i dunno what i wan in a b.f but now i think i've a clearer pic. yes! gd sign. Hee... I'm 25 this year. getting Old! help!

2009-01-06T19:29:00.000-08:00

I'm tired, not enough rest, no happiness n suffering alot. Must the begining of each year be so dramatic? Wen can i get out of this? i've a feeling thi yr veri 'high' again. oh no...

sad news all over...

2009-01-06T19:14:00.000-08:00

Just receivd a piece of bad news yest that my boss is going to have a pay cut on me n my colleague. Haix.. Alrd i'm struggling to try to get along with the stupid advisors n now this kinda news? It's not like now the economy is so great that ppl wil be dying to get insurance like that. No 5 appts pay cut? Den will u make sure ur leads are not rubbish first? Plus that fact that no non-chinese, must have income n all.. Eat shit la.. Wat nonsese i this? That yr give us rubbish to call n wen no results you blame it on us? Ur surname is lai? I surf net n started to send out resumes yest. Went for 1st appt for interview just now. Realised that the economy is really bad. As in, the pay is low. But this job i'm interviewing has no targets, so to speak. They must be desperate for ppl cos within half an hr after i left the interview venue, they called me to inform me that i'm selected for 2nd interview. Wen the lady said gd for me that i'm selected, i thought of the pay n think, not that gd leh. lol What a tough begining of the year. haix..

first entry of the year...

2009-01-03T09:27:00.000-08:00

OK, first entry of the year must be the most positive one. Hee... Just attended the 1st service of the year. Filled with lots of goals n visions. :> First n foremost, i must settle is my Goal setting card for 2009. Yup, goals are so important in life. Even though the economy isn'r doing well n still is expected to do even worse, I still dun believe in just sitting down waiting for whatever u wish to change to just change like that. Life, is never going to turn out right like that. I've listed out my goals le actually. It's a whole list of goals because it's all in diff categories. But i like what pastor tan said just now at service that goals should be flexible. Adjustments shouldn't be a stunning decision. Pro 16 So, i'll rem this statement very well. There is one story that i heard from my friend n i still rem it very well. That story teaches me that to believe in a God who is bold, boldness is essential for that conviction. I am hoping that i can do as much as i can within this year. Because i feel that i've done quite little in 08. One thing diff from 07 is that some new ventures i've kick start alrd in 08 so it's gona be continuos. Consistency is a must n it involves discipline. The most impt thing i must do is to keep an active life. Activities can create blind spots sometimes. But life must have activities. So, my calender in 2009 is gona be super packed! haha! Which is just gd, cos i just bought a organiser. This is the first time i'm using one so i was actually thinking what should i write in it. But after today's service, wow! alot to write lor! haha! ok, for planning wise, it's until here for now. :>

WhAt A dAY!

2008-12-29T03:48:00.000-08:00

Today is veri 'high'. Cos i had a heated arguement with an advisor todae. To keep the story short, basically we were yelling at each other like two hot cats! Lol We were so loud that ppl in the office could hear us. We went our seperate ways n i stormed back in office with great anger. N there were weird looks from ppl ard me n i couldn't calm down. So i packed my things n left. I went to park mall to eat jap food. N i received many calls from friends asking me alot of questions. So after yelling a 2nd time on the hp, ( with a media corp actor sitting at one table away )I decided to watch a movie to cheer up. In the midst, my mind were burning with negative thoughts. lol Den i went to ps cine. Wa, the queue was so.. long, i just forget abt the movie. Den i receive calls again. But this time, i'm not yelling le. Den i thou just go home n slp ba. Den i went to the train station n took a train. Determined to quit n find new job. Telling myself that i can pull thru this. Half way to amk, i received smses. N a phone call that stopped my journey. It was from my cgl. We talked seriously n quite a while n i decided to return to office n talk to my boss. (after a couple of sobs ) To pick up the mess. I sms my boss n we arranged to meet at 5pm in office. I slowly made my way back n thru out, more smses n calls. But by now, i'm calm. :) So wen i go back, i have concerned friends n colleagues with me. I'm comforted. What is the greatest thing i can thank God for in this incident n be glad abt? All the smses n calls. :o)

X'mas eve!...

2008-12-23T20:36:00.000-08:00

It's x'mas eve today. Alrd know there're alot of friends for service tonight. Hmm.. Wondering what the drama story will be? But whatever it is, it's always gd. :> They have great acting skills! If they go media corp, wow.. think alot of artises will be anxious abt their rice bowl. Lol This yr x'mas is veri rush. buying presents are all done last min. The lights at orchard seems less creative this yr. But i like those candies hanging down though. They're cute! There're alot of movies to be watched this season! But i can't really watch them. Presents for friends have alrd burnt a big hole in my pocket! Plus, need to save for other impt agendas. :> hee... Yest i went to ps to help my colleague to get something n i overheard an america chinese said that the shopping mall is very scarily crowded n he doesn't seem to sense any recession effect at all. Haha.. Well, i feel that singaporeans are actually brave n optimistic. U see, no matter what the state of the economy is, ppl will still buy n give n spend. I think, for a gd reason, we shouldn't just sit down there n cry n whine just bcos the situation is bad rite? For me, i think that everything is gd in God's Hands. :> Ok, back to the rest of the preparations for today. :0) Merry X'mas! ho ho ho!...

2008-12-23T09:24:00.000-08:00

A nice photo taking session...

happening..

2008-12-23T09:05:00.000-08:00

This season of x'mas is quite diff from last few yrs de. Cos my family is also celebrating wor.. :> 2nd bro bought a huge turkey, cake n some other food. N this yr, i've quite a few gifts exchange more than previous yrs. This is the 1st time i feel it's fun to gift exchange. Dunno y. Although some things remain as no breakthrough, but i believe it will still get better. :> This is a season of Hope. N thanksgiving... I really want to take the opportunity to thank some ppl for really making a difference in my life this 2008. They are the ppl who are willing to look beyond my temper, wounds n hurts n to come to me with care n love. They have made me a diff person from whom i was in the past. Thanks for everything. Gals! :>

i think i look natural in these photos...

2008-12-23T08:59:00.000-08:00

Last sat was my cg's x'mas party. These are the photos taken. I think this is e first time i took so many photos in a single event. :>

X'mas is coming!

2008-12-16T07:44:00.000-08:00

X'mas is just at the corner! Have alot of shopping to do wor. hee.. Festive seasons are the best excuse to spend money! Is it my wrong mindset in the past or every year x'mas got alot of s....sales? Lol But this tme round, sales is really gd!Real gd stuff on sales! yea... :> X'mas party is this sat! Hmm.. shall i say, the first party? hee.. I hope there'll be alot of ppl attending. To make it more merrier. Den play games den fun ma.. This yr alot of ppl wans gift exchange. I like! But i need to save for studies wor... Hmmmmmm......

2008-12-15T10:11:00.000-08:00

change is gd..

2008-12-13T10:30:00.000-08:00

My cg member changed seat with me today. I give sweet to my member n cgl instead of keep asking them for sweets. I saw some new flavour of chocolate that i would like to eat myself n bought them for my friends. Cos i wana learn to bless. I signed as a volunteer in Cope today. Cos i wana contribute to society. I sacrifce my extra earning on sunday n decided to be there for my two friends who are facing hard situations in family. I trust n share my prob n concern with a friend todae n got a gd solution. The bus on the way home is very packed today but i told myself to just enjoy my ride. I sat on the opp direction seat n was concern abt feeling giddy but You give me the idea to close my eyes n just rest. I managed to do a proper prayer list although i'm very tired. N i managed to pray thru. Wow, look at what change can bring in my life. All the reasons that i can praise You.

LOve, is a product where demands are higher den supply..

2008-12-11T08:03:00.000-08:00

Y is it that it's always easier to socialise with new friends den to stay in love or agreement with friends who have been ard more? I think it's e demand part that plays e role. N ppl's understanding of each other. My friend was sharing with me that there was once she went to a park with friends to spend the nite out. Suddenly a malay or tamil guy came out n asked one of her guy friend, are you 'ang'? Den by some stupid reason, that guy's surname is Ang.So he said yes la. Den a grp of malay friend came out with chopers n hacked all the 4 chinese gys in my friend's grp. Stunned, she n others went to nearby police station n made a report. Wen they returned, all the 4 chinese guys were slashed badly. E malays were caught n in the end, realised that they hacked the wrong guy! Well, in real life, i find that this happens very often. Cos we tend to always judge things based on the surface n miscommunications n not understanding enough of each other causes alot of trouble too. Misunderstanding= not understanding enough or at all n this leads to alot of social prob like fights, murders n wars. If i even have a chance give an idea to give proposal to the educational system. I would suggest to them to allow psychology be a compulsory subject in sec sch. Even though exposing them to such knowledge has it's danger of abuse, but it beats better den just letting the prob get worse by feigning ignorance. Not irene li's way of doing things. Lol But this is just a thought anyway. The real thing is, i dun think i like what is going to happen tml. :<

Giants slayers...

2008-12-06T20:09:00.000-08:00

I think i have alot of giants to slay... hmm.. yea.. From ppl to myself to events n all. Preferably starting from self first ba. Yesterday started from ppl de. I went to fellowship with cg at city hall n den we went starbucks aso. Den at starbucks we took photos. I get that feeling again but i pressed on. Hmm.. Athough i would say, breakthrough is still a way off but i'm still pressing on. I hope. But last nite i managed to talk quite a bit le. In the midst of that feeling going on in my heart. Yea.. Veri funny, think recently i too much things in mind then i couldn't focus on ppl n whatever they are saying. So, i keep asking them to repeat den they are all like fainting bcos of that. Must be more sharp.

ugly...

2008-12-04T07:09:00.000-08:00

I went past starbuck just now during break. N saw alot of ppl queuing for the line. I was wondering what happened only later to find out that for today, those ppl who donate at starbucks for salvation army will get free coffee. N so... many ppl go n line up. So i told my colleague that confirm ppl will just give little amt like $1 or few bucks n wants to enjoy free coffee. She says think they won't do that la. But i just feel they will. What else will get them lining up n getting so excited? Charity? nah.. no way. Had a talk with my boss this afternoon n she said some nasty things to me. But i've just had another thinking. I will stay on n see what God will do for me here. I wana catch what He has in store for me! :> It's ok, treat me badly, fasely accuse me. I will still get my promise! Amen!

rainy day..

2008-12-03T23:28:00.001-08:00

reached office at a super early time so went to find girl girl n frien to eat lunch. i guess i could say that for now, my job for this month is secured. wat's gona happen next month? who knows? Well pray abt it ba. cos i'm too sick n tired to go n think abt it anymore. but i know from now on, i'll have to work veri hard for money. in order to have a liveable life wen i go front line battle field in April next year. i think sunday aso need to work le. yea.. cos sat i've decided to work as volunteer. the only way to prevent from being selfish n just living for myself only is to have sometime aside for others as well. Tat of cos, includes family. but for my famly, i must aso have another outside aganda. cos my family only gets me depressed. so, dun think tat just bcos i'm working veri hard for money, i'm only living for myself. it's all abt planning n stretagy. tat's what i learn most in coperate world. i'm now at office but slacking cos today i start work at 6pm n now... is 3.40pm. N everyone else ard me is frantically on the phone trying to get sales n appts n getting the coperate n economy going strong again. N i'm here, slacking.. WA, shiok xia! haha.. but wen they off work le, i start work le. I suddenly feel a sense of destiny. This is what God mean when He say, do business until i come. Cool man, er.. or shall i say, cool God! Lol Dad wants to get a new hp wor.. i saw one shop at ps selling at pretty gd price, dunno shall i go see ma. hmm.. just go n see la. anyway, i'm buying the F480. this week mother strike 4-D again. This month she like, strike dunno how many times. which is a gd thing cos i only acknowledge that money comes from God. yup. yawn.. even with the music at loud volume, i still feel.. sleepy... yawn..

Thank you..

2008-12-02T09:49:00.000-08:00

Something that touches my heart deeply at 10:24am on 2 dec 2008 Dear God, e lady reading this is beautiful, strong and I love her. Help her live her life 2 the fullest. Pls promote her 2 excel above her expectations. Help her shine in the darkest places where it's impossible to love. Protect her at all times, lift her up when she needs you the most and let her b awar constantly tat you r walking with her. :) I never thought anyone would know.

Real lesson in life #1

2008-12-01T08:42:00.000-08:00

Today, got a chance to know 2 of my new colleagues. N wen we are at the topic of guessing each other's age, they guessed me to be 18 or 19! Man! I'm 24 lor! Nope, dun worry, age has never been a secret to me. ( maybe bcos i look young! lol ) But then, i began to think, is it bcos of the age thing that make me still single n available today? I mean, is it bcos i look too young that's y guys of my age all do not like me? I asked my cgl this question. N her reply is that i think too much. Most of the time is bcos of the confidence issue. So, i learnt two things here. Firstly, i mustn't go back to the low self-esteem de me again. To once again reject myself God's wonderful creation. ( as we all are. :> ) I should learn to love myself n accept myself n my personality n etc. Sure, i dun look or laugh or behave like a 24. But it all doesn't matter. :> Really, it doesn't. N i think if a guy relly loves me, he'll love me dearly for me being so special. yup. Real lesson in life #2 2nd thing i learnt in life is this. Once again confidence, she is in the limelight.:> haha So my decision that night to listen again to Pastor Kong's sermon on confidence haas proven to be what i would call it. 'in the flow' yeepie! i love it whenever i flow or sense correctly. Cos it shows, my relationship with my best friend. :0) I love You!

2008-11-30T09:16:00.000-08:00

The latest movie that i watched, on 30 Nov 2008.

2008-11-30T09:04:00.000-08:00

Small start...

2008-11-30T08:23:00.000-08:00

It's 12 plus in the morning n i'm not asleep cos i am listening to the music in dear gal's laptop. Im still pretty inspired by what i learn in one of the elective class in song writing. I'm trying to 'drill' out the details of each song. To start small, learning to 'disect' the song. So that i can begin to understand more abt the components like, the punch, the composition or arrangement of the song. I stil dun really understand why teacher say that he feels that composition n arrangement are the same. Alot of work to be done. Jia you!

I wish for World Peace! >>>

I'm living for Jesus!..

2008-11-27T22:43:00.000-08:00

Asia Conference was a mega hit!! Was so touched n believe my life will be tranformed n changed. :> The 3 days was squeez....y but man! It was all worthwhile. It really open up my eyes n mind to the things of the kingdom. Love the way Dr A.R Benard preached abt the marketplace. Great! N i even feel that the miracle that i've been waitng is coming to pass! Yes!

Although i admint that life after AC has been challenging n overwhelming to a certain extent, but i've decided to press on with the right attitude. :> Thanks to a dear friend's advice. hee.. No matther what happens. i will press on to Him! I'm not ashamed to say, I'M LIVING FOR JESUS! Youhoo!...

sickening attitudes!!

2008-11-12T23:02:00.000-08:00

Cannot stand the attitudes of some advisors! So hard to be a servant of all! Cannot tahan lor.. Tok to them, they dun even look at me! Sickening sei.. Irritating.. Just only last nite, or rather, this morning, i told myself to endure.. N this kinda attitudes now! I know, it's a spiritual thing. But it's really irritating! Haix.. Dunno how la..

what a day..

2008-11-11T03:07:00.000-08:00

Had to ran errand for boss this morning. Had to reached tanjong Pagar at 12 pm. Reached there just to pass a calculator to a new agt who's taking lesson to be an official one. Stunned by his response. not really thankful n behave like as if he deserved it de. Actually, i'm begining to doubt abt this job. Bcos i find that i'm like serving so... many ppl n they're not really appreciative. Even my boss. She is begining to feel that i'm suppose to do even more n even better bla bla ... Everytime talk abt work, she's always lifting up her expectations higher than the previous. Ah, sianz.. tired man.. I'm finding myself to be complacent le. Not a gd sign. i've been stagnanting since last week. Doesn't mean my appts drop. Not really but means that i'm not putting in much effort in the job being done. I feel that one very prominent reason is bcos i'm not very sure will i really get confirmed anot. They look at not just then results here. They look at certs too. Which is to my disadvantage actually. N u can't get a cert fast enough to solve the prob immediately. N the conversation btwn a manager n my big boss is not helping at all. Big boss was talking abt a case that wasn't handled well by an agt. I know abt the case cos i heard them talking abt it yest. Big boss was not just unhappy abt the agt but aso abt the telemarketer i think. But i feel that it's not really the telemarketer's fault ah. haix.. i aso dun wana make all my readers to zzz.. Just forget abt it ba. Talk abt other things. Man, i really spend alot recently. Although it's all necessary but still abit scarey thinking abt the money. Clothes, shoes n hair... hmm.. Think i've bought enough le ba. :> Dec is yet another shopping month. So, cannot become broke now.

a day..

2008-11-09T05:28:00.001-08:00

This morning i woke up at ard 11 plus. I was stunned.. Cos i'm supposed to be at the hair salon at 11 am! I took cab down to bedok n met up with my frien sam ( short form ). We went to the salon only to find so many ppl. So we were told to go back at 3pm. So, after a short chat n drink, we decided to head to This Fashion, ( with no intention of buying ). We just look ard n i started to see some clothes that i decided to try on. N there's it man... Shopping le. Lol I bought a dress which costs $26 but cool sam's sis got membership! So became $18 plus. It's a bargain for a dress! :> Den, having nowhere to go again.. We decided to go shoes shop. N i shop n shop, n bought a pair of shoes. Hee.. Den after that, we rushed to the library to borrowed a bk, not for me but sam. Cos she would be accompanying me to the salon, to de rebonding. I was touched. It's an awful thing to wait for some0ne a few hrs to do her hair! Wen we reached the salon slightly before 3pm, we were Still told to wait. Haix.. So we obeyed. Sam started to read her bk, A winning attitude by J.C Maxwell. It's a gd book, i feel. :> Den, i began to get engrossed in the drama series on tv. hee.. After ard 45mins, sam said she's bored n i could understand her agony, So i asked her to go home first n she said after rebonding ,after call her cos she's excited to see the 'before' n 'after'. So sweet.. Can my b.f in future be this sweet too?? :> Finally after what seems like hrs, i was finally released from the salon 'prison'. It was almost 7pm. Hungry me faster called sam to come find me n i searched for a hawker to eat my lunch cum dinner. Den we went to the mac to eat ice-cream ( only i eat anyway ) n chat more. N then we departed. This is my sunday spent.

pay day!!

2008-10-30T04:13:00.000-07:00

Getting pay either later or tml. Hee.. Gd xia.. It's e labor for my hard work wor.. :> It's really hard earned money. hmm.. but i everytime dunno how to handle with money well.. Always overspend. Bad habit! Cannot like that.. will be poor one! So this time, hmm.. must get ready all the necessary money.. den pay all the bills first.. think after that, not much left la wor.. ha.. Never mind, begining is always the hardest, most agony, most difficult but as time goes by, discipline will become a lifestyle. I wana buy a new acuostic guitar. Hmm... Wondering who shall i get to go n buy with me? den after, get a gd teacher. Hee.. Den i'll be on my way to my vision! I aso wana find my special someone. He also must love music n can play at least two instrument. I can. I can play guitar n a mouth-piece instrument. And i also wana learn sone writing. Wana form my band. hee.. My greatest desire is to shine for Him in the area of my passion. Opposition is great but i'll never give up on my dreams. Dreams.. are my reality... Hee.. I wonder how my dear dear looks like? Recently i've been thinking abt him.. smiling. I mean, i rather dream of my lover den to dream of my work. Lol.. Life has alot of things that's not within my control. But i just learn to accept what i cannot change n still love. Love, is after all the most powerful thing on earth. God is L.O.V.E love changes ppl n lives. Have you love someone todae?

music or noise?...

2008-10-29T21:18:00.000-07:00

I talked to my boss over the phone yest afternoon abt what i feel. This was what e consequences were. I told her that i think it's abt time we change e script we're using. I know, it's not the instrument that shines the talent of a musician. But like every musician would know, if u mistreat ur instrument, the sound projected out will be weird, not beautiful n u're suppose to tune ur instrument and polish them ar. Must love them wor. And to keep 'upgrade' them. So, the tool of a telemarketer is the script. One script wana use for 6 months and expect gd results n used by so many ppl is really way too impractical?? isn't it? So, what's the outcome? I need to crack my brians n come up with a new script. Fine. I will do it! Just that now no idea yet wor... Ha hee hee.. Haix.. Being a Pa has alot to take care of, even minor things like pay, i must rush the manager to REM to bank in to my tele under me and in the end he came up with an excuse that ibanking is down and will pass me cash n i have to bank in to my tele?? OH MY!... What kinda job is this??????? Can anyone tell me?? I dunno how long i can do this kinda thing!!! But did tis job changed me? yes. ( Clap clap) At least it has some gd use ma... hee.. Well, i dunno wen can i get out of this desert but being in the wilderness requires PATIENCE n more ENDURANCE and never to do it by my own strength. It's not by might nor by power but by the spirit. Amen! I will always rem what my leader says, stepping into the promise land is not easy, promise land has giants! But look into the eyes of faith, they're no more than grasshopper! Promise land is given by God! It's mine! I will conquer the land! Yes and Amen! :> One thing i learnt is that, no matter how down or angry i get, i'll rem to put :> in all my smses to ppl. :> Cos i believe, whatever i sow, i shall also reap. If i give ppl a :> I'll gain back a :> if not, more. :> hee.. This is call wisdom. That makes me a wise gal! Yea... ( clap clap )

Back to work.. facing reality

2008-10-28T22:01:00.000-07:00

Ok, I took mc yest so i'm back to work Today. I've decided to stop being stress sbt my work prob. Sonce i've cracked my brians into 5 continents alrd n still no ans. I've decided to come back n face my boss. Was i stress over my work prob? Hmm.. consistently having dreams abt work on dunno how many nites. I think that's a veri practical sign that i'm stress ba. I've prayed abt it n told God that this is enough, let's end it! So, will face the music later......

2008-10-26T23:37:00.000-07:00

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. He who is in me, is greater than He who is in the world. For the thoughts that He thinks towards me are not thoughts of evil, but of future and Hope. Hope is found in Christ divine, all my past, i left behind Let your Glory shine. All i've gained, i counted lost, i press on to the higher call i long to know you more. This is the hour, i can feel your power. Destiny calling out to me.. Closer God to thee.. Destiny my eternity God in Heaven ,you are all to me..

working on a PH

2008-10-26T23:02:00.000-07:00

Well, let's face it. Working on a PH, is it a fun thing to do? nope. But is it worth it? Hmm.. yea. Cos i need the money n i need a guinea pig day to push my appts n to trial my new tele script. Yest was fun! Went to GT zone's last meeting. There were so many ppl! Almost everyone was there! N i did well! i didn't blend in n become a wall paper which i normally do when in a crowd. Haha.. Den we went to Marina sq for shopping! I saw nice shoes leh but never buy cos only left last display pair n it's in bad condition but it was comforty. Tempting but didn't buy in the end. Haix.. den we were so tired, so we went to starbucks n joke n laugh! Haha.. Rulan was so.. lamesia.. hahah.. She n reena like bickering pair lik that! But they're gals la..hee.. I went home veri tired n on the way home, start thinking abt work le. Haha..Cos my job not so easy la. Oh, forgot to say, Jolene n shimin aso went with us n they commented that i am diff now. I think they aso veri hard to say what's diff abt me but just diff lor. :> well, so many changes, aso not so easy to pin point put la. But i know ha.. Cos it's my life that's changed ma. Hee.. Gd lor! I can praise God For that la! This job has changed alot in my perspective n mindset n i really wouldn't be who i am todae w/o God's guidance, lecture n anointing N His unfailing Love n Patience with me! Haha.. I know.. I know.. Pls dun remind me my past, Thanks! Actually, i dunno how long will i stay in this job cos it's pretty unstable as i do not really know how are they goin to measure my performance. N i'm like still on probation n manager says until Dec. There's long wor.. well, Nov coming le.. Hmm.. Maybe not so long lo. I'm not negative, i'm just thinking, can i have a way to make things more stable? God, pls show me a way! Well, Bible says Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding and He shall direct your path. N so, i shall. Your word in my life, is a lamp onto my path. Never shall i let your Word depart from my mouth. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Amen!

It's thurs! yea!

2008-10-22T23:18:00.000-07:00

Thurs lui.... yea.. Tml fri den weekend! Although weekend aso need to work OT. I think it's fine since i'm being paid lor. hee.. Anyway, i need extra money. Rather den go find extra job outside, might as well earn all in one job! Easier for me too! Yup! Den i'm thinking of recruiting ppl in for part time tele aso in the evening. Can help ease e burden for some ppl during this veri impt 6 months! Haha!

hee...

2008-10-22T05:13:00.000-07:00

Todae i never got to see my boss at all. Cos e moment i've reached office, she left for the day! Shiok rite? Being boss is gd hor? :> I managed to get 5 appts todae. N it's still early but i decided to stop. N slowly do some tidying up instead. I need more leads to substain. Cos i dun wana do too much Pa work. Ya.. As long as i've results boss is happi. I need to learn to slow down n get used to the change in my working environment. Den i can only pray n hope that God will show me my purpose in being here. Yea.. Cg has just changed zone. AZ zone.Tis week is e final Gabriel zone meeting!! So sad! Sure cry one.. Sob.. new enviroment new standard. hmm... But to look on the bright side of life, it should be quite.... fun? Maybe ba. Dunno which gal gal ine cg says hor, must looky looky cos got eligible guys. Oh my.. i mean, it's true la.. but my legs skin irritation not recovered yet! cannot wear sexy dress! haha.. I want a guy 1-2 yrs older den me. love God, live righteous life. Love music, can pklay 1-2 instruments. Hmm.. Knowledgable n wise. Will plan for future, will dote on galfriend. capable. Hmm. Ard there. hee.. I know to hook a grade 10 guy, i must aso be grade 10 myself. So, i must improve on myself. Yes! Btw, i just bought a tank top! E one that i've been looking for. At only $9. But still got discount! hee.. At This Fashion wor.. Yea.. Women, can never get enough of shopping! Wa.. Talk abt guys n shopping, i'm okie liao. Not emo la.. ha.. The male colleagues in my office are veri lustful. They only like to talk abt pretty gals. n only talk to pretty gals. Especially shaun! Humph! After i bcome full time, wa.. like dunno me liao. Dunno y aso. Haiz.. Sianz.. I never understand man one la anyway. But thank God the female colleagues are better. In the past, i was more closer to guys. But now it's e other wau round! But I need guys in my life now! Haiz.. Y such a cycle?... Oh my... My new perspective abt life. Just relax la.. U can never be Overly prepared! cOOL

trying veri hard..

2008-10-22T05:06:00.000-07:00

I'm trying hard to endure. I'm trying veri hard to press on. I'm trying veri hard to think positive. Pls dun ask me what am i doing it for. I'm waiting for an ans from Him.

It takes courage n dicipline to be positive!!

2008-10-20T23:42:00.000-07:00

Yest i made only 2 appts! Goodness!! I was sad n panicking abt what the boss would say abt it. Had to really take time to keep telling myslf to be positive. Finally i decided. I do my best let Him decide the rest lor. I live my life for Him anyway. So, i refused to take MC ( which i always do so wen i wana escape from reality ) Yea.. But i just tell myself go! If not, i'll never breakthrough! So, after a Mac breakfast, i just go lor. Haha.. I just cheer myself up n wa.. thank God! The interview that i fixed with my boss today went super gd! That makes her happi! Den after that, she just went out! Yes! Does she knows abt the appt thingy? I think she does wor. But she probably just wana 'monitor' ba. Who cares.. God has saved me once more! Praise God! What abt tml? Let tml take care of itself la! Haha.. Cool..

2008-10-17T03:14:00.000-07:00

got see the pic rite at e right side? it's actually the most nicest one. I like my eyes that day but a pity never take close up photos n i dunno how to make up that way wor.. I wana watch the movie Chaser leh. My colleague says no more le. So Fast! Ah! I missed out alot of gd movies recently leh. sianz.. I dun feel like eating dinner alone lehx.. Everyone like haven knock off le.. haix.. Dun eat lor. Hope the weekend is better. More relax.

yes! haha!

2008-10-17T02:30:00.000-07:00

Talked to my boss just now. Had all my doubts cleared n yes.. Very haPPY LE! hee!.. Later goin cgm.. hmm.. dunno todae what flow..Veri hungry leh.. I stress until i forgot to eat sia.. hmm.. what shall i eat? hmm..

Kill them!

2008-10-12T00:30:00.001-07:00

#1 : Selfishness Always thinking abt ourselves. Failing to put yrself in other ppl's shoes. Selfishness only causes trouble. You'll do better to trust in God. Phil 2:4 If you plan gd things, u'll reap gd spiritual fruits. Plan Gd seeds in ppl's lives. Focus n pray to kill selfishness. #2 Pride pride leads to argument n strift. They always start with criticism. Aso shows in ppl who's always comparing. Pro 16:18 Pride goes before destrution and a haughty spirit before a fall. Humilty is the adedote. Live in peace n fulfillment. Be compassionate, humble. Humility is the foundation which comes forth love, peace. Our differences dun have to irritate ppl. Humility comes by letting Jesus rule our mind n heart. Be renewed in yr mind. Spend time with Jesus. Change ur thinking. #3 Insecurity Pro29:25 The fear of man brings a snare ( Trap, cripple ) Insercurities brings controlling attitude. Insercurities prevents intamacy. 1: insercure means e fear of exposure. Meaning we fear ppl will know what we're really like. 2: fear of rejection. They fear being rejected by ppl. So we build up walls to others. Jesus was despised n rejected. So we can open up to Him n give Him our fear of rejection. We can have a new life! Bitterness will come into our lives as we build up walls in our lives. Bcos we hold on to the hurts that's y we build up walls. The adedote is love. We replace the emptiness with something else. With e love of God. If i'm always thinking of what ppl will say, i've not accepted the love of God. 1 jn 4:15-18, Focus on God. Willing to try n give it a shot. #4 resentment Job 5:2 The fact is that you cannot change e past. In life, u'll get hurt.We must overcome the hurt. That's y we need ppl to help to counsel us. Bitterness n resentment defile you. Resentment destroy relationships. Adecote is forgiveness. Allow God's love to dwell in our lives. titus 3:2 Forgiveness is letting go of the pain n letting go of the right to get even. Dun get even, get better. Amen

:::::'' _ '':::::::::

2008-10-12T00:01:00.000-07:00

Okie. Let's face it. I have been quite sianz this week. Cos i realised that i didn't do something impt that i was supposed to do last week. N the news abt the change in zone last fri hit me badly. It's putting some certain amt of stress n pressure on everyone of us in the cg. N the impact is immediate. I still haven been able to find a reason n motivation for this change. So i'm not taking it veri well. I've been coping wif alot of changes in my life recently. New job, new cg, new zone now! I can onli trust God. I need to fast n pray nore often. I cannot cope wif all these alone. I need His Strength. I'm adapting but not fast enough, not i anxious, but the circumstances changing too fast. I need to learn to adapt faster. God has been patient n veri gd to me all this while though.

Happi!..

2008-10-10T03:02:00.000-07:00

Sometime never blog le. Hee.. I've been confirm that i'll be starting work soon on 13 oct officially in the reputable insurance company! Yes, Bro kok is rite, i'm too negative. I need to change my mindset! This week's telemarketing job is quite alright. Well, some days i can do it same time polish my nails! Somedays, i talk till throat dry wor. But it's normal. Yup. I went to the bank to do the Go mastercard for Posb. Initially i just wana apply a debit card, den i realised that it can be use for atm card as well! Gd! My atm card is faulty anyway! Everytime i use atm to top up Ez-link card hor, either must swipe 5 times or cannot use at all. Idiot! Den e person behind will become mouse. Tsk tsk sound lor. Aso nt my fault ma.. humph. den i change my pin number as well. U wana know? it's ******. Yup. See, i love my readers so much. HAHAHAH.. Hmm.. pastor said must live a debt free life. I got own ppl money. Ppl aso got own me money. I pray that as i repay what i own, ppl will pay me back too. Cos they own me more xia. But even if dun have, God will prosper me! Bible says wicked ppl own n dun pay back! I'm NOT wicked! Byw, the pay for the full time job is not bad. N i started from partime. So it's an achievement. Cos only wen u do veri well as partime den ppl will wan u work full time ma. hee.. Posb bank now have this new Mysaving acc thing. The int rate is at least double of what u get from normal savings acc. So i encourage ppl with prob in saving $, ( which includes myself ) to open an acc there. Haha.. No, i'm not working at posb. Just feel that it's a gd thing to share lor. :> Pastor said aso, must be savvy with money. I must force myself to save! Later goin to bugis to meet the gals to go shopping. But i'm not buying. Cos one stupid just promoted manager still haven pay me salary. No extra $ to shop! Angry! But no choice, just endure lor. Next week i should be much richer. Hee.. I was waiting for my frien at train station this week i saw a family of 4 babies. den there's one sleeping in the push cart. ( srry, dunno how to call that ) At first i saw him, i feel that babies so noisy, dun like. but then, a thought cum to my mind, God loves children. Den i see n see, i suddenly noticed the small eyes, nose mouth n hands.. i feel so cute... i like liao.. hee.. Conclusion is, babies are cute de la. Hee.. Can la.. think i should be able to wana give birth to one or two in future wen married. Hee.. I wana boy n gal twins. My friends all say. TOTO easier to get ah! So hard meh.. Aiya.. anything la.. hee.. happy children can le.

Once again He has done it!

2008-09-26T01:50:00.000-07:00

I received a bad news tis afternoon regarding one of my evening telemarketing job being stopped due to low response. It means much lesser income n at this pt of time, it's a pretty bad news. I was so dishearted. I didn't even know where should i go from there. I forced myself to sit down at Yoshi to eat something n to try thinking of solutions. I thought abt it, came out with only one solution. That is to extend the other telemaketing job i have now. Chances are not veri high, given that fact that the manager hasn't get back to me regrading the full time yet wor. But i tried n Yes! They'll talk abt it n i feel it shouldn't be a prob. They'll get back to me by Sun. I hope really la by then. Meanwhile, i feel that i cannot wait for them alone. For the full time job. I need to rely on myself more. Yup. N From now on, i'll steer clear of all job agancies. I thank God for the wonderful QT this morning. It was so gd n refreshing. That's y wen the news hit me, it wasn't so bad as it could have been. Praise God!

Have faith!

2008-09-24T04:45:00.000-07:00

Yest went to the beach for a walk n have a gd fellowship wif Him. Hmm.. Felt veri refreshed wor. Long time never feel like this le. Unleashed all the hidden burden to Him, felt so much lighter at heart. :> Today rested for long hrs den went to work. Feels gd. Tml e insurance company is goin to tell me what their decision is. A bit nervous at what's going to offer. But i tell myself, if God has bring me to such an extent, He's not abt to blow up everythimg now. I shall keep praising Him! Praise my way out to greater breakthrough! Have faith!

Okie.. So what's next? :>

2008-09-22T19:41:00.000-07:00

OK. So, God speaks thru events in life as well. Hmm.. so what happens now? I went for the one week trial for the call centre job but didn't work out. I quit within 3 days. Cos it's veri lay back compared to the one at the insurance company. Dunno leh.. Maybe used to it le den cannot adjust to the totally diff environment. But okie la. Knew rite from the begining that it's onli a trial le ma. Or maybe i'm anticipating too much for the perm job elsewhere? Whatever it is, it's over le la. I aso need to do some adjustments to my own mindset regarding the workng life. Not that too negative but rather to push on ba. I feel veri tired. Actually i've really breakthru in many areas of my life le. For those who knew me, they actually would know lor. So now i think, i need to learn to adapt to the pace n working style now. So that i can actually act on the plans that i've made earlier on during the starting of the month. I still find that sometimes in life, it's really one step at a time one la. The best thing abt blogging is that i can actually sort out my thoughts. Hmm.. yes... I think i should just focus. Focus has power! yup! Den will see where God will lead me to go lor.. Haha.. He is GOOD! I was veri happi wen KY said that i've breakthru last sat. It hasn't been easy But praise God that i've made it! Actually, i have some veri deep emotional prob since young. I dunno is it bcos i bearing it in my heart tat's y i'm like that or other reasons la. It's actually like this. Dun get scared ok? Wen i was young, my parents they paid special n most attention on my brothers. Especially my eldest brother. So, i'm always the ignored one. There was once which is one big time one. That one is so....... I still can rem. One day, i was at the dining table wif my parents, grandmother n all.. i was like, talking n talking... Getting all the attention on me.. finally. For that brief moment, i was... happy. But the moment my eldest brother step in, i was transparent one lor! Everyone fussed over him, ask him what he wants.. What he needs.. Customer service meh?.. But i was like, again, it's him in the limelight. I mean, every child needs attention. I dunno, but i growed up feeling like, nobody is giving me any attention. N wen another person in the group of friends gets all the attention, ( which actually, in every grp of friends, there's bound to be this senerio). I'll feel so hurt that i'll cry. I'm not trying to be childish, i aso dun wana be this way. But the hurt dwells in me n refused to go. It's hurtng me more than it's to anybody n i know that! But i can't stop being tat way! Or rather, i've been so stuck in this mindset that i need ALOT of determination n to break free. N i'm in the process of doing it. I've learnt tat wen this kinda thing happens, usually i'll wana leave. But last week at expo during dinner time at SUBWAY, i tell myself i shall stay. N all these is unreal. It's just the devil playing wif my mind that he doesn't wants me to have gd relationships wif ppl so that my life cannot be successful. Ya, if u have gd relationshios wif ppl, it's easier to get things done in life n u'll be more happy. N the devil doesn't like it wen i'm happy! N so, i shall be! haha! N as i was saying, everytime i am like talking to ppl, suddenly that feeling or rather, thinking will come to my mind, it's actually the spirit of torture. I understand that from last sat's experience. I was enjoying my fellowship wif cg wen i suddenly feel that i'm out casted, alone, pathetic n abandoned n ignored. Everytime i think that way, i'll feel the same hurt i felt that day at the dining table. I'll feel it so real that i'll just cry. Just like that. N ppl will be shocked cos they dun understand how come irene like that? What happened? But usually, i'll go toilet n cry. N i went to ladies wen that happened last sat. I stand in the toilet for such a long time, the ladies outside aso find me weird. Cos they heard me sobbing. Then i calmed myself down, n tell myself, if i wana breakthru, i must press on. The more i dun wana stay, the more i've to stay. Yup. So, i dried my tears n went out, telling everyone that i'm fine. Only KY i think, knows what happened to me. N she said that i've breakthru wen i came out of the ladies. hahah.. But i could feel so much better n clearer of y i feel this way at times since last sat. Ya.. think i'm really breaking free! yes! Still some way to go, but okie la.. Life IS a journey! Enjoy the process! haha! Actually, everyone during their childhood times, went thru so veri unhappy stuff n we tend to hold on to those feelings of hurt n hatred etc. N we bring them with us in our growing up. But that isn't rite. It isn't healthy for our soul n it'll usually manifest in my daily lives easily n that's y marriages break up. Cos whatever they experienced in their childhood, they usually do the same to their spouses n children. So, actually, emotional healing is a process. Long process but it's essential n i'm not suprised at all that almost everyone has this prob. Just diff areas la. But God can heal us! He's our healer! Of every hurts n shame! Praise Jesus! I shall be diff each n everyday wen i surrender my life to HIM!

Am i falling sick? I hope not..

2008-09-22T05:38:00.000-07:00

I hope i'm not falling sick.. But i feel like throwing up easily recently. Am i under stress? i aso dunno myself.. Am i trying to hard to proof myself? Am i pushing myself too hard? Maybe i must take a real rest soon..

God is Great~YES!

2008-09-18T21:54:00.001-07:00

I'm so happy! The telemarketing pt job i've been working for in a reputable insurance company is now offering me a full time position! It's really like a miracle as in, i never knew a small talent like telemarketing can actually allow me to shine for God in such a way. We have this small telemarketing room which can squeeze abt hmm.. i think.. 10 telemaketers? Yup. Ard that no of ppl. Almost all the telemarketers knows me n they know me bcos i've been veri productive in this job n i've been doing pretty well. Yup. Which is aso one of the reason why they actually offer a full time position. ( the agents ) Hmm... There'll bound to be more greater challenges ahead but i'm willing to give it a try. Especially after listening to all the Faith Boosters by Ps Phil Pringle. I'm so excited at what God is doing in my life! I've my fair share of struggles just like evryone else but God is GREAT! AWSOME! YEA MAN! They even say, if i do well, they'll hire few more telemarketers n let me be the supervisor! If i'm looking for a career path, they can give me one! WOW! Praise GOD! I'm wating for their discussion of what they wana offer me first. I'll know the ans next week. PRAY FOR ME! Hee.. Oh Yea, Another company is aso hiring me. So, actually i've two offers. But this com is offering me customer service position. Yup. Diff staff but since it's aso a gd company, not bad for prospect actually. GOD IS GREAT!

Be Bold!

2008-09-18T21:54:00.000-07:00

BOLD Quote - 'What would you do if you were ten times bolder? Go out and do it. When and what has it cost you in life not to be bold?' - Page 113, Jesus CEO, Laure Beth Jones, Hyperion 1995 You're going to love this; A bold colour stands out from the rest. We make font bold to emphasise the point. Life makes way for the bold person. Fortune favours the bold, the brave, the courageous. The small vision fails to motivate. The vision that takes breath away, that'll capture attention. Boldness is not bold unless we laugh on the edge of our nervous boundaries. Bold is Winston Churchill standing on the rooftops of London yelling defiance to Hitler whilst bombs rained down on the city around him. Be bold, be strong, for the Lord your God is with you! (Josh 1:9) Taken from The Leadership Files ( purely for personal encouragement with no intent of copyrights )

Yea.. God is gd.. Praise Jesus today!

2008-09-17T01:57:00.000-07:00

Last nite went for my telemaketing job at the insurance agency again. Last min found out that gal gal nev go wor.. sob.. Den the room was so packed with ppl, we were at lost at what to do suddenly. Then naughty me wanted to find excuse by saying not to work that day. But dilligent supervisor says no. Finally got me into the office to work, even if she has to cancel her appt. Haix.. So sheepish me went in to work lor.. hee.. The office is smaller, the telemarketing room aso smaller, dunno den they move for what in the first place. Diao.. Then, the moment sit down, she showed me the targets again. Small office, small space, BIG targets! Haha.. funny. Well, i thank her for being so insensitive to my stress level now. ( in my heart ) Then, i started work, Not long after that got the news of the AIG insurance being almost bankrupt. Then they say might wana to offer me full time position there. I hope it really a gd opportunity n not a shit thing. But whatever it is, must wait till tml den will know. Plus a little offer here n there. I should be able to settle down at a job soon. By Oct. Yes! Finally.. Well, i tahnk God that i still managed to pull thru with 4 appts last nite! Yes! I hope today's one at the property will be gd aso.. hee.. There've been no sales for quite sometime le.. Sad.. N the agent is giving me stress. Not that i dun wana give but really dun have ma.. Well, all the best!

The more i listen, the more i learn..

2008-09-16T02:29:00.000-07:00

Instead of shutting ppl up even before they talk, learn to 'endure' & listen to what they have to say. Learn not to yell at ppl or even before u judge, say u're rite. Apologise wen u've done wrong. dun keep finding excuses to cover up. Dun be in a hurry to throw your hands up in the air the moment things go wrong , learn to say, it's ok! Let's try again! New Plan Wake up at 6.30am. Buy newspaper, find the jobs suitable. Before that, gotta list out what i want: North, central, a bit East Pay at least $7/hr or gross salary one better? Best is can start work asap so that can start saving up now. Sept, the extra month before the 6 months. Gd Opportunity, time once lost, cannot come back le. But if get one with gross salary, is better rite? Got cpf aso. Hmm.. Depends on the amt of salary then and.. aso the enviroment. Cos the environment depends on whether i will be able to stay at least 6 months there. ya.. There're two or shall i say, one option for me now. Got one can try one week first, den if not suitable, can dun wan. That consultant says one. So i'll take her word for it lor. Another one is Bishan, the consultant i think a bit insane, cos he raised up my pay expectations so much, den i think bishan aso like, dun have so big company lor. Dunno la.. See will get back to me with gd news anot lor. So, during this one week de trial, i must wke up veri early everyday to keep sending resume to see if got better offer coming. Hopefully by next month everything will be settled, God i pray... Ok,, i do what i can, God will do what i can't. Amen! Thank You Jesus!

2008-09-16T02:17:00.000-07:00

SELF-IMAGE Quote - 'Let us make man in our image, after our likeness' - Gen 1:27 You're going to love this; Roget's Thesaurus - Image - projection, hologram, silhouette, reflection, reproduction, engraving, true-to-life, embodiment. Your self-image is the likeness of God. You are not God or a god, but His image is stamped in you. The me I see is the me I'll be. You have the mind of Christ. You have the nature of the Holy Spirit. You are complete in Him. The fullness of the Godhead is in you. If you see yourself through the eyes of others you will generally be defeated. God tells Gideon, 'You mighty man of valour.' Jesus tells Peter, 'Upon you I'll build my church.' He tells you, 'Fear not for I am with you.' You are a new species of being! You are forgiven, righteous and holy in His sight! You are strong, successful and prosperous! Taken from Leadership Files ( for personal encouragement, no intent to copyright )

Knowing what i want..,

2008-09-16T00:11:00.000-07:00

I think it's thru trials n mouldings that i really realised what i want. Of cos, same time, i discovered alot of ppl with stinking attitude ard. But never mind, i'll grow smarter. Thank you Jesus!

It's monday! Oh gosh..

2008-09-14T17:39:00.000-07:00

Managed to wake up on time even without alarm clock n realised 'oh gosh, it's monday!' Man.. I'm back at the job at Pias. Haix.. It's an agony. But being jobless is even more agony. Yup... So, i took an hr off to relax n 'programe' myself first before i stand before my tragedy of the day. Haha.. Dramatic.. It's already the 15th of the month! GOODNESS! Half the month has gone! No.. i haven attained wat i wana go for this month! Cannot la.. Must work harder.. N faster! Well, There's roughly 3 more months to end of this year. What shall i do? Actually i dunno what to do. Think i can only do one thing at a time ba. Wen i've settled down at the major staff alrd, things will be much more easier. Yup. Past one month has been moulding me well, have to do things that i dun really wana do but must still do. Well, better den slacking my life away. N i think, i'm begining to get more used to it le. Telemaketing is a sianz job cos it's boring n tedious n result oriented, so has stress one. But before i get better offers, i must stick to tis for the time being lor. Ya.. But I really pray to get rid of this soon la. Cg has been gd so far. Was so tired wen returned home past mid-night last nite. Thank God Ky has car to drive me home. Even KJ aso say i look veri tired n ask me to rest well. Hee.. Thanks gal! :> We went bugis for pastamania den chill out at Starbucks n den dessert. I think angela feels like viomitting wen we eat dessert haha! She too full! Can't even finished her pasta lor! E rest of us all ate till veri shiok xia! Ops... hee.. Actually, we work, earn money, den spend n work to earn more money, only to spend more money again.. sometimes i find life veri sianz.. No meaning.. this is a veri sianz cycle la... Cos i haven got the discipline to save. I even dream of scolding myself stupid that i dun save. Or was that You God? Oh no... But i really gotta start saving soon. If not, next yr cannot study. I'm praying for an ans for a big decision now.. i really need to know what He thinks abt this decision. I hope to have His Peace in me wen i decide. I really do. It's not easy, it's not popular, it"s not easily understood by ppl. I really hope this is a wise decision.

Hanging out at frien's hse

2008-09-12T10:55:00.000-07:00

I'm at frien's hse now blogging... hmm..Actually have quite alot to say but dunno how to put into words. Think this kinda moment of peace doesn't really cum easy. Being away from it all. Yup. Even normal bathing feels veri clean, diff kinda clean. How i wish i always can get away from it all likes tis everyday. Not that i dun wana talk, but really i need peace like this more often. ya..

Stupid bus!

2008-09-10T00:18:00.000-07:00

Today i'm supposed to go for work at 12pm. But i reach at 1.07pm! Y? Cos the stupid bus 88 broke down lor!.. Sian xia!.. All was making noise wen it happened n all must go down the bus to take another one. Den hor, got another bus 52 aso broke down lehx! Rite next to the Bus 88! Can't believe man! N so, the two busses happily blocked the whole road lane.. It was hilarious to see those private cars have to U-turn n 'gotstan'! Hee.. Funny man! Another bus 88 was just behind but got wat use? whole rd is blocked lor.. In the end, i decided to walk all the way to bishan mrt station to take train sia.. N i was late n wen i told my boss e bus broke down, she gave me the look tat she didn't believe. Well, who will? But i dun care anyway. It's e truth wat! Humph!

emotional day..

2008-09-09T02:41:00.000-07:00

Today my heart is veri heavy burden.. dunno y leh.. Think tired n worried abt other things ba. Money? Hmm.. Bcos i've been working few temp jobs last month n aso found a more stable job already, money not really an issue now. Not that i've earned enough la.. But at least can breathe more relax now. Haha.. Well, sowing n reaping is a God's principle. but mature sons of God are led by the spirit. I'm suspecting that i could be having prob in this issue that's y i feel the burden. So, I've decided to slow down the pace. Not being lazy, but learn to think abt spiritual things more den just money issues now. U mean i did that? Well, if u've such a great task to do n still must carry burden for others... yup. Money issues are taxing on the mind actually. As the saying goes, actions speaks louder den words. So, my first action is, i've decided to stop counting all my pay. Bcos got a few jobs ma. Den pay day all diff ma. So i realised i'm always counting money recently. Time to stop. Anyway, they'll let me know if the pay is bank in already. Wa.. instantly freedom from mind. But after a rough calculations previously, i think i should congrats myself for my hard work. hee.. N so, i grow fatter tis month! N wat am i suppose to get for myself now? A pair of sports shoes. To get rid of the fats! haha.. But i've learnt that dun live yr life wif regrets. So, if wana eat, just eat la... haha.. I dunno how much i spent on rewarding myself for my hard work already but i aso dun wana count la. Haha.. But i think i should stop now. Hee.. Another thing i realised is that in the midst of working for so many diff kind of ppl, i find that there're some who do their work nicely but some who really should give them a slap in thier faces! Working in coporate world behaviour so disgusting. I shoot him back n luckily for him, he used his brians before replying my sms. If not... humph! But he took super long time to reply. haha.. stress him.. serve him rite! I'm not his previous Pa type of gal man.. Open yr eyes look carefully hor.. haix.. nowadays working life aso must show great wisdom. Thank God Jesus is my indwelling wisdom! :> hee.. Mooncake festival this fri! haha.. But i'm not interested in lanterns or playing wif fire lehx.. Dunno wat e cg wana play wif.. Hee.. Dunno.. just go lor.. I'm thinking shall i buy some ice-cream mooncakes for my family. They cost quite a bit. But i'm so sick n tired of the normal yoke n w/o yoke one. Just thinking abt them can make me puke! Cos got one yr, i played Number game wif cg, i ended up the only one eating! Cos i discern the number correctly everytime! So sick! Yeek!.. I never knew i'm so gd wif numbers. How cum i dunno next week TOTO wat number will cum up ah? haha.. joking.. know aso cannot buy. Wrong spirit. Pastor preached before. Cos God dun bless that way de. yup. Another food i dislike is 'tangyuan'. My grandma always force me to eat wen young. That time was those traditional type. They use the pandan leaves to cook the soup. So terrible the smell! Den i said i didn't wana eat, my grandma scolded me till i cried. She said dun eat, won't grow up one more yr older. Even though i was still veri small, aso knew that wasn't true. Wan me to eat, say la.. Cher.. But bcos was forced to eat, dun like it wen i grew up. Although now got lots of favours, but still eek.. to me. Haha.. I think wen i'm force to do certain things rite, i'll have great resentment towards it wen i grow up. Eg, my grandma used to force me to only wear skirts n dresses wen i was young. Yup! only that wor.. U open my woredore, only skirts n dresses, not a single pair of jeans! I begged my parents to buy jeans for me wen i was in sec sch cos i cannot stand my peers mocking anymore. Really.. Since den, i hardly wear skirts or dress. Aso dun like to dress up. Hmm..But now dressing up is like a mannerism thing already. Especially in the workforce. But i need to renew my thinking first. haha.. Dun wana do it for the sake of doing it. Yup.

yea..

2008-09-08T00:00:00.000-07:00

Yes! Starts my PA job today. After much struugle, finally found something that's more stable N aso something that i'm more int in! Yea.. God is Gd. N if i'm nt wrong, i should be getting more blessings in another 2 weeks! Tell u den. Hee.. Besides learning to be more independant n responsible, i realised that i needed to learn to be more thankful n appreciative as well! For all the things that He has done for me, placing ppl to help me along etc.. Yup. Indeed Heavenly Father is my provider! Of cos, i sowed too la. Sowing n reaping is a great principle! Hee.. Donated blood wif cg member yest. Was Super tired! Cos the nite before, went chill out wif cg till 3.45am in the morning! Den dunno wat time slp.. Wen i went to see the doc for health screening ( to see if i'm able to give blood ) first thing the doc says to me is, '' you look veri tired". No worries man! Was my reply. Haha.. Confidence to the extreme. :> Well, i'm already a regular donor, it's really nothing to me. Although everyone feel that i wasn't in a gd condition yest. But although i'm telling myself to work hard n all, i'm feeling a bit tired. Maybe bcos i have been running ard too much ba. Searching for jobs n all. I'm veri excited to upload the photos we took in mac! But must take from ZX. Cos inside her camera. Hee..